On June 18, was my 4th cycle of chemotherapy marking my halfway point in my battle to prevent any recurrences both local and distant. The last two days was also the first time I broke down since beginning treatment.

For some reason, I did not fully understand the severity of my cancer. Although the tumor and the cancer that was in my breast is out of my body and no lymph nodes were involved, there is still the chance of micro-cancer cells traveling to distant organs, like my liver, lungs or bones, through my blood stream. If this happens then treating the metastasis will be more difficult, especially since my cancer was triple negative.This is the whole point of adjuvant chemotherapy, to kill ALL cancer cells. Previously to my understanding, I thought the only recurrence was local, meaning in the same breast. But now as you can see, it’s more complicated than that.

So feeling down, and worrying about the recurrence I haven’t been the most positive about my circumstances. I do understand that positive thinking is the best way to over come my illness and that is what I shall continue doing. I will have my bad days, hopefully only once in a while. I will keep thinking positively and telling myself that after the last cycle I will not have to worry about it every again. Yes, my life has changed but not drastically and I will carry on with my long life.

Today is day two of my 4th cycle. I am feeling a little more nauseous that my first day but not as tired as last week. I also received my Neulasta shot and waiting to see what kind of side effects it will leave on me this time.